drudging away at magic

It was necessary for me to gain power in some realm into which my parents -- my mother particularly -- could not follow me. Of course, I did not think about the matter logically; sometimes, I yearned for my mother's love and hated myself for having grieved her, but quite as often I recognized that her love had a high price on it and that her idea of a good son was a pretty small potato. So I druged away secretly at the magic.

Davies, Robertson. Fifth Business. 34.